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[selfconcept]

HELLO

"..."

GOODBYE

TEXT | VIDEO | VOICE | ACTION

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cw emeto

[vacuous]

[ The moment he's let go he's

Well, he's scrambling and crawling to the bathroom, which surely there is one in a love hotel room that is possibly designed for threesomes and above. The sound of retching soon follows. ]

[selfconcept]

[ Okay! Cool!!! (not cool)

Hien immediately follows Tokinaga into the bathroom regardless of what's happening right now. ]

"Sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't there would be such a strong pushback--"

[ He tries to rub Tokinaga's back. Please. For the love of god. He gets out a bottle of water. ]

[vacuous]

[ His heart's beating way too loud like it'll burst out of his chest any second now, and all four of his limbs feel so numb yet painful, like when they fall asleep but about a hundred times worse. Despite that, there's a full-body tremour that's practically a rattle, and he still feels too hot, and the inside of his mouth tastes bitter. He slumps over the bowl. He came prepared for this, but really -- it didn't make it much easier, not that he expected it to. He makes a small sound at best, just vaguely aware enough that somebody else is there. It's his best attempt at a plead to leave. ]

[selfconcept]

[ Hien just stays there for a bit, but he understands. He leaves the bottle of water there in case Tokinaga would need it. After that, he goes to wait on the bed.

Feels bad, man. ]

[vacuous]

[ So nice of him... I'm sorry that Hien is probably going to have to wait quite a bit until his symptoms die down, at least enough that Tokinaga can more or less function.

It's not subtle anyway in the slightest. It's whenever the physical pain and the other sensations underneath it subside, and so do the stuffy sound of sobs. ]

...Hien...?

[ He doesn't really come out, he's talking through the door. ]

[selfconcept]

[ At the call of his name, he immediately bolts to the bathroom, but stops in front of the closed door. ]

"Hey, I'm still here. Are you feeling better? Do you need any help?"

[vacuous]

No. It's okay.

[ By the sound of it, he's sat on the ground with his back to the door. ]

...Sorry.

[selfconcept]

"What are you sorry for... that was a perfectly normal response."

[ Hien sighs. He gets the feeling that the back is against the door, so he doesn't try opening it. ]

[vacuous]

No it's not.

...It's the entire point of why I asked you to look.

[ Added on as though to soften his own refute. ]

[selfconcept]

"Throwing up after being subjected to that? I'd say that's pretty normal."

[ He didn't feel like he got the direct answer he wanted from peeking in there, so he'll just ask Tokinaga himself. ]

"... Do you think it came from yourself or because you were affected by that IPO?"

[ All he knows is that gods are connected to IPOs, and that's how it was referred to so maybe. This was an IPO. Jesus christ. ]

[vacuous]

...The IPO. My body was changed by it.

[ The 'bug' in question that was introduced to his system... ]

[selfconcept]

[ Okay.

Now he's annoyed. Not at Tokinaga but this IPO. ]

"Do you have something like a mind guardian in there too? Something with talons and feathers..."

[vacuous]

You could see it?

[selfconcept]

"Yeah. It kicked me out."

/2

[vacuous]

...!...

[ The bastard -- ]

[vacuous]

[ Hien asked a question. He almost answers different, but then he remembers -- Obikawa is here. ]

...It's just a strange demon I sometimes see in my dreams. I'm surprised it showed up for some reason.

[selfconcept]

"Is that literally your sleep paralysis demon?"

[ Okay, but seriously though... ]

"Anyway... I'm thinking about it. I can try changing what preferences your body has. I'm just not sure of the success rate because of that thing in your mind and... whether you want it or not."

[ His body has been tampered once. Does he want more tampering to "fix" it? ]

[vacuous]

Maybe. A sleep paralysis demon that sits on my legs and makes them feel numb by the morning.

[ He says it like it's a joke of sorts... ]

...

[ It probably can't be permanent, but. ]

Can you... fix it for while I'm still here, at least? In Purgatory?

[selfconcept]

[ Considering it was by his feet... he can't even continue the joke. ]

"My intentions are making the change permanent. Are you okay with that? You should also tell me what kind of things you want me to change it to if you have any preferences."

[ he briefly considers making tokinaga demisexual ]

[vacuous]

[ Help not the Rihanna sprinkle of demisexuality. ]

...Even if I... the person, wanted love, my body doesn't. And even though I... hate the thought of suffering and pain, so much -- that every other night I think about pointless things, like if I couldn't take all the suffering in the world and just die with it all, except, the thought of it --

[ Nausea, disgust. A full-body shiver and a sharp grasp of his own arms as if to stop the crawling sensation. ]

I just want it to stop. At least the... physical response. [ The worst part of it that keeps him shut in all week, this week in particular. ] I want that "bug" gone. If the panic attacks can be gone too, then that'd... be great.

[selfconcept]

"Any specific exceptions and clauses you want to make before I do it?"

[ He's not trying to deter it, but he doesn't want this to be like "you wished for it but none of it turned out what you expected it to be". ]

[vacuous]

...I don't want to become a different person.

I just want this thing to stop.

[selfconcept]

"... Yeah, I don't want you to either."

[ Hien quietly breathes in and out. ]

"Alright. Whenever you're ready, you can come on out."

[vacuous]

[ There's a bit of quiet but then a shuffle, before he opens the door. He really does just vaguely invoke the image of a kid who's just finished crying except it's a grown-ass man. So much misery aura. This is why the comfy clothes were a must.

He'll come out and sit back on the bed. ]

[selfconcept]

[ Tokinaga looks so miserable... He gently holds his hand at first and briefly squeezes it, trying to be reassuring. He'd hug him but he's not sure if it's too much... ]

"You can tell me to stop anytime, okay?"

[ And he'll abide by Tokinaga's wishes. He's a little more prepared this time, since he's aware that there's a possible obstacle. He waits for Tokinaga's response. ]