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"There were some people inside a cage and this giant rat had the key. It gave me the keys and I ate them."

[ He says it in a "it was totally deserved because i did because stupid shit" tone.

Anyway, it's not emotionshare, but Hien will just flat out tell Yosuke after some silence. His voice sounds quieter than usual, and he's already a quiet guy more than half the time. ]

"... I'm a little anxious."

I saw the cage and the rat, but you... why? [ he sighs. hien... ] Never mind, they all got out so it's fine.

[ but oh? he waits patiently, and when hien replies there's a brief frown from his end. ]

... wanna tell me a little about what you're thinking? [ what did the river take from you, my god. ] I can come see you if you want.

"Mm. Yeah. Come see me. I'm by the river, so... I'll see you later."

[ There, he said goodbye properly. no curse. He's still not aware that's how you get cursed. He just accepted it as a thing that happens. Gee, wonder why. (he may be stupid)

If Yosuke goes by the river, he'll see Hien sitting on the ground next to it with an expensive looking haori wrapped around him. He's mostly dry at this point and it looks like he's spacing out. ]

I'm on my way.

[ that's close to a goodbye. he doesn't use his compact enough to even know that's how this is cursing people, he just thinks this place hates hien specifically.

as such, he does in fact go to river nearly immediately after saying he would. the haori immediately gets his attention and he pauses, blinking for a moment before he slows his approach to come and sit down next to him. ]

Hey, I'm here. [ he normally would not say it that way, but he has gotten used to seeing people zone out enough a little announcement may help. ]

[ He looks over at Yosuke after he hears the announcement and pats the space next to him on the ground. He could bring chairs out again like he did last time, but he's not in the mind to think about that. Besides, they're next to a river, even if it makes Hien uneasy, but he figures that's just his Self side being unreasonable again. Or maybe because it reminds him of Oblivion and that guy was a grade A nutcase. ]

"Thanks for coming."

[ Yosuke will feel some pressure inside his chest. Yay, weekly effects. Hien is indeed feeling anxious. ]

[ the good thing (?) is that yosuke is a kid who is very used to wrestling with his own anxiety, so he kind of recognizes it immediately for what it is. he doesn't draw attention to it, settling on taking a few deep even breaths instead. ]

You know I would always come whenever you ask. And even the times you don't. [ hehe. but... he gazes at the water. ] ... what's going on?

"Did I ever tell you about the part that if all my other selves die out in every world, I'll permanently become a monster that will stop at nothing to eat every single world that exists?"

[ Just straight to the point. ]

"And that two of those other selves don't have an expiration date unless they choose to have one or are somehow killed?"

[ he blinks a little. ]

Not... exactly, no. [ having it said so bluntly is a little new, but he can see why that might be alarming given what he knows about hien and how he operates. but he pauses as he seems to think. ]

... the memory from when we first met. Is that... ? [ a monster that would stop at nothing to consume marble-sized worlds. a monster that did stop when it came time to eat its own home. ]

"My initiation of being who I am now."

[ Despite seemingly calm about it when that memory appeared, he was actually bristling with so much anger on the inside. It's fine. He just focused on new people that he never met instead and it helped him play it off. ]

"A taste of how it'll be like in the future, even though I'll no longer be conscious and in control of when I become a monster forever... some bullshit like that."

[ Hey, Yosuke. Do you want another boss fight. lol lmao ]

[ shit man, he'd be angry too? he would in fact fight, it's fine. ]

You're right, that is a bullshit initiation. [ ... ] But as long as those other two selves are still alive, there's a chance that won't happen?

"Yeah, except... I think one of them just died."

[ haha

yeah

His anxiety spikes. ]

[ you would do this.

but also, oh, bad! bad. he feels that spike of anxiety and he takes a deep breath, trying to shake it off to stay calm for both of them. ]

Tell me what makes you think so.

[ yea ]

"I can't use any powers related to memory and his voice specifically is gone from the masses that I always hear."

[ give him a moment to cover his mouth with his hand and ruminate on that for a moment. ]

... it's probably really scary for you right now when you're so used to that being a part of who you are, isn't it?

[ bro he was literally here last week, he will walk you through it. ]

[ yosuke help what did you even lose

Hien hesitates. Yosuke is right, but he should explain. ]

"Since... I'm what the 'Self' is supposed to be, yeah, losing a part of me always makes that side of me flip out, but I try not to let it get to me too much. My body barely functions on the days when my other selves die, so I feel like a bedridden person on top of that."

[ ... ]

"But that's not why I feel anxious. It just means that there's only one person that stands between me and becoming a monster forever and I... I--"

[ Okay, he's genuinely freaking out. The person you considered to be chill is in high anxiety mode right now. ]

[ haha.

he has a lot more questions about hien's entire make-up suddenly but those can wait because they're not important. what is important is that he's freaking out, and it's not like yosuke doesn't understand why, so what he does instead is sort of crawls around to sit in front of him and grab both of his hands.

he sort of pauses like "why did i do that" for a moment, but then he figures it's something to kind of root him in reality and try to keep him focused so they can talk through it. if hien's panicking, it's really only going to make things worse. ]

You're not going to become a monster. Okay? I promise. That's not happening here, you're going to be okay. [ convincing, yoosk. ] ... it's going to feel this way for a while, but your powers aren't gone because that self died. They will come back. But the river takes things as a price. That's why it works so well.

[ Even though Hien is in high anxiety, he recognizes what Yosuke tries to do for him. He tries to focus to listen to him. Focus. Pay attention. Yosuke is the only one here right now with Hien. ]

"If it takes away my powers, then fine... That's fine. It can take them. I don't care. I just don't hear that guy specifically anymore. I can't hear him, but I can hear everyone else."

[ he will keep his grip a little tight until they can both relax a little further, if only because this is a lot. ]

It's... it can take things from you that shouldn't even be possible. It wouldn't surprise me if it took that connection, too. Everything that's tied to that self, powers and all, could be considered a price to pay for healing. But I promise it'll come back. It'll just take time.

[ unless haki is feeling mean and takes it away forever.... ]

[ :) ]

"Just that one specifically?"

[ It just feels so weird to Hien, who has more or less accepted that things happen to him just because it does, and not because of cause and effect. ]

"Why just that one? I have billions of others. But that one specifically? Just..."

[ Hien is quiet. Yosuke is doing his best to keep him rooted to reality here, but sometimes you learn how to filter constant voices in your head and when you start losing yourself, you also lose control of that filter. It's so loud. He feels like he's getting a headache. Hien is usually calm because he thought he was over these sorts of breakdowns. Turns out he isn't, no matter how long he lived.

He does his best to focus on Yosuke in front of him. He's right there. ]

"... Okay."

[ The anxiety isn't completely gone, but it's now overshadowed with something that feels like a daily necessity has been skipped too many times and your body starts to rebel against you.

Deprive a man of his water and sink him into the thirst, and he'll forget how to be human again. ]

[ make yosuke a liar, i dare you. ]

Because it's one of the most important ones to you. What kind of a sacrifice would it be if it was something you had plenty of? [ he just says this, and he kind of flinches a little because redstring, hien, your headache is becoming his headache, but it's fine. he can deal.

in a weird way, he's oddly fascinated watching him break down because it's so unusual, but it does prove that nobody's invincible. the anxiety isn't completely gone, but he's still taking time to ease him off the ledge and hopefully help somehow. it's why he pauses... and then decides to explain. ]

... it took Takehaya Susano-o from me. [ which should have also been physically impossible since the persona is yosuke, a large part of him. ] It took about a week for it to come back, but I... it felt empty the whole time. Like a huge piece of me was gone.

[ since. well. it was. he is only saying this to say he kind of knows how it feels to be extremely anxious and insane about something that's such an integral part of you to have it suddenly disappear and signify a huge change you don't want. for hien, it's the difference between being himself and a monster. for yosuke, it's the difference between who he was and who he is now. ]

[ i won't, but it gave me a great idea for the possible next time if he gets dumped into the river!

Yosuke is trying so hard for this guy and he means so well, but when he says Takehaya Susano-o was gone, Hien's eyes just get wide. Sure, the Persona eventually returned, but... losing a part of himself like that is...

It's...

He can't process this right now. Give him a few moments. He's going to curl up into a ball for a bit. ]

[ NO!!!

double NO!!! yosuke is trying but to be fair he's not always the best, so he says that and hien just kind of falls over and yosuke immediately panics. ]

H-hey! [ AH. NO. HOW DOES HE FIX THIS. he's kind of letting his hands hover like he's not sure what to do before realizing that there's some fucky thing happening in the maze that's doing a new feedback loop, so he's quickly re-prioritizing to calm himself down so they aren't in a double panic loop. ]

... [ maybe he needs to just shut up for a second and wait it out. restrategize. all of that. ]

[ It's still loud despite Yosuke's silence, but he can see through the noise. Yosuke is here. There's someone here, wishing to support him. He needs to snap out of it, but how can he, when he's one step closer to becoming a monster and ravaging all the worlds that exist? When he worked so hard to--

...

Yosuke will feel something cool wash over him, as if he's trying to breathe while panicking. Let everything go. Calm down. ]

"... Yosuke."

[ He's still curled up. ]

[ oh, buddy... he truly hates the sensation sharing half because it feels weird and half because he doesn't actually like knowing hien feels this way. or that he's trying to forcibly chill and struggling about it. ]

Yeah. I'm still here. [ he doesn't quite touch him again, but he hovers close and seems to actively be focusing on deep breaths and trying to clear his head. he doesn't understand how red string works but he's trying. ] What can I do to help you?

[ He sure is struggling. Hien finally looks up. He didn't cry, but sometimes he just wants to let go. Even then... it doesn't happen. ]

"... A hug."

[ He feels no shame in asking this for the sake of himself. he's just worried about Yosuke. ]

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