selfconcept | purgastory >> inbox

[ Some hets indeed have rights. He sees glimpses of the first scene here and there. He wonders... he looks up at Tobari and then he sees... all that. It's wistful and he can sense the regret from how Tobari spoke within the memory.

The hinagiku flower--also known as a daisy. They represent chastity and purity, from the mythology of a nymph transforming herself into one to hide from the affections of a god.

Hien quietly skates on over to where Tobari is. ]

"Hey. You alright?"

[ he takes a second longer to rearrange his face—sighing heavily when the memory finally recedes. he scrubs his face for a second before finally letting his hand fall. ]

... fine as anybody can be?

[ he's not going to pretend it doesn't fucking hurt. that's more of a disservice to hinagiku than anything else. he spent way too long pretending that she meant less to him than he did—all for the sake of hoping that she could still live a better life away from him. so much for that. ]

But I'm not about to fall apart if that's what you're worried about.

"Alright. You wanna learn how to ice skate, then?"

[ Look, if Tobari doesn't look like he wants to talk about it, then Hien will give him that. It turns out that once you're nice to someone, it's hard to be an asshole back! Wow! ]

.... sure.

[ he'll accept that. but also, even though it's true that he's not going to immediately spill his guts about it, he does have to acknowledge: ]

You don't feel like asking questions?

[ even if he also thinks it's pretty self-explanatory ]

"Should I be? It was pretty straightforward. Right now, I don't have any questions. I might ask later if they pop up."

[ Look. He's just being real with him right now. It's not that he's disinterested in Tobari's circumstances, but like... what does he even ask about? His mind isn't focused on that. He just cares about Tobari of present time. ]

People say things like "why didn't you mention anything?" or "so what comes next for you?" [ he pauses for a second and then shrugs. ] It comes from a good place, and I think the curiosity or upset is pretty default.

[ all that said, ]

I'm not complaining if you're alright though.

[ things are better off if people worry less about tobari—not even in a self-deprecating way based on shaky self-worth. not like that. he understands why people get concerned. it's just that his circumstances aren't really ones that people can change. ]

[ mood regarding circumstances just being something that others cant change. Hien gets it. ]

"I have a feeling that you've more or less accepted things. There's no use in rocking the boat about it if you have."

Unless someone knows a way to cheat death, then I'm not into picking losing battles. I've already got my hands full.

[ even as someone who's super fucking dead he's somehow made himself busy anyway ]

[ Okay! Time to never tell Tobari that he has life powers!! ]

"With what? Us?"

[ lmao ]

[ he's not that hungry to go back it's fine ]

Not wrong. I still feel overworked for some reason.

But... I just want to see my sister again. Make sure she's safe. [ he'll pluck his shard from where he keeps it tucked somewhere in the millions fabrics he wears ] I'll figure out the rest after.

[ Hien tries to take a peek at Tobari's shard. ]

"What's she like?"

[ tosses it over to hien. there she is, the cutest girl in the world. perfectly asleep in a bed of flowers, eyes closed and still in her bundle of silks. ]

Sweet to everyone but me, sharp-tongued otherwise. Hard-working and considerate. Never wants to make trouble for anyone.

Just like any other girl her age.

[ even though she had to grow up way too soon ]

"Oh, she's cute."

[ Like it's an off-hand remark or something. He really does think she's cute... ]

"Whoa. Are those fishnet sandals?"

[ im sorry his priorities are something else ]

[ he just nods? of course his sister is cute? even putting aside the fact that aesthetically it makes sense for geishas to be appealing, he'd clock anyone who said otherwise about her.

just huffs out a breath at the fashion commentary though ]

I don't question what the older sisters tell us to wear.

[ tobari also dresses well but he's been trained into it ]

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