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[selfconcept]

HELLO

"..."

GOODBYE

TEXT | VIDEO | VOICE | ACTION

Comments

[expulse]

Self-loathing?

[ Man. Can't relate. ]

[selfconcept]

"No. I'm glad to be back as myself, but I'm also the monster and you saw what happened."

[expulse]

You were rather difficult to converse with. I missed your subtle way of asking for hugs.

[ Looking curious. ]

You can't control yourself in that state?

[selfconcept]

"It depends on my mindset, but it's more like instinct than anything else."

[ The monster doesn't think. It only acts. ]

[expulse]

So no, not really.

[ Peeks at Hien's body, but presumably he's all patched up. ]

[selfconcept]

[ Hien looks great! Perfect condition. ]

"I can kinda control it... but it's really difficult. It's better to let myself go and let it act according to its instincts."

[ Like an animal. ]

[expulse]

[ Hm. ]

Why is it better?

[selfconcept]

"It takes a lot of energy to keep myself in control. It's also the most unstable form I have."

[expulse]

[ Fair enough. ]

So. What's next?

[selfconcept]

"Dunno. I'm used to dying and all that, so I don't feel too affected personally apart from some guilt."

[ He looks at Sylus's eye again. ]

"You didn't go in the river?"

[expulse]

You seemed pretty affected when you were letting that part of you out.

[ No judgment, just acknowledging his emotions.

As for his eye... ]

I don't need it.

[selfconcept]

"I think of death and loss of self separate."

[ ..... ]

"Who did this to you anyway? I know it wasn't me."

[expulse]

[ Hums. ]

A blonde man. I didn't recognize him.

[selfconcept]

"A blond man."

[ He thinks back. ]

"I was also accosted by some blond. Creepy fucker."

[ he forgot his one-sided toxic yaoi ]

[expulse]

[ Okay. ]

It was probably the same. He was looking for someone.

[selfconcept]

"Hopefully not me. I stabbed him enough times that he should have died."

[expulse]

He was badly injured when I saw him.

[ Well. ]

You've forgotten him.

[selfconcept]

[ There's a slow blink. ]

"Maybe it's a good thing that I did."

[expulse]

Maybe. [ Watching. ] You don't feel as though something is missing?

[selfconcept]

"I do, but you win some, you lose some. I got my sense of self back, and that's the minimum I need to function properly."

[ Maybe if he words it like this, it'll be harder to be lumped in as a person. ]

[expulse]

So it doesn't bother you?

[ Hm. ]

[selfconcept]

"I've gained and lost many things over my many years of existence. So... no, it doesn't bother me."

[expulse]

[ Hm... ]

No longer worried about being left behind then?

[selfconcept]

"Oh, that."

[ How embarrassing, but Hien doesn't have any pride about it. ]

"There was this weird picture book that kept scribbling me out... and with my mindset back then, I was scared of being erased."

[expulse]

It was cute.

[ Not, like, the distress, but the sentiment. ]