hien callias, world eater (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
selfconcept) wrote2025-11-13 07:51 pm
selfconcept) wrote2025-11-13 07:51 pm
purgastory >> inbox
HELLO
"..."
GOODBYE
TEXT | VIDEO | VOICE | ACTION
"..."
GOODBYE
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"..."
GOODBYE
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But kissing is fine. It stokes the heat to unbearable degrees, but it's still easier than addressing the pain that gets consumed by it. A half-measure, maybe, as intimacy is intimacy; does it really matter what form it takes when it lands all the same? It's almost a little pathetic. No, it is.
He's greedy, he's selfish. He goes wherever he wants to, and leaves the same way. He's always known this about himself in ways he's never wanted to acknowledge, which is why it's always been better not to get involved at all—superficial cuts heal cleanly. But here they are, and he's making the stupid justification that he's at least made one boundary, paltry as it is. ]
Te quiero, Hien. [ He shifts the angle and kisses him again. Then shifts a third time, deeper. It feels endless, like no amount of it will ever satisfy, and somewhere in the back of his mind he knows there should be a limit. His restraint only stretches so far. ] … I might not be someone you can have a future with, but I can at least do this much for you.
[ take care of the h*rny i guess except not really. explodes them the next tag. ]
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Love only fuels the desire and want and only further encouraged by the multiple kisses. It's hard to think at all right now, but Hien wants Elysium here. That's all he knows. Otherwise, he would have been thinking about how he used to feel like this, how he tried to avoid love in the beginning because he always outlived them or had to leave. He sees Elysium trying to do something similar but no words come out. Nothing reasonable. ]
"We can have a future, Elysium. I love you. I don't think I ever loved anyone else so much. Don't leave me..."
[ Maybe if he wasn't so horny, he wouldn't be begging for Elysium to stay, but he is (reads notes) having impaired thought processes at the moment. Nailed it. His fingers, while having short nails, still claw at Elysium's arms. ]
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But somewhere in the blur of heat and intimacy, as he tries to catch his breath, a thought arrives with startling clarity. Right. Love. They're in love with each other. Yes, as much as this is something they both want, Hien is in a vulnerable position. What's love if they're just using their bodies to express it? So, he presses a breath through his teeth to steady himself and gently pushes his arms out to their full length. ]
I won't, but we need to at least get you somewhere el——
[ —He doesn't finish.
The coughing hits like a blow. Violently, and like a raze, making Hien's buildup of heat practically gentle by comparison. It burns through his veins, searing up his chest and ripping through his lungs, unlike a heat that merely pools in their cores. And Hien, unfortunately, gets the full brunt of it. Sorry if Hien was counting on Elysium to keep him up, because this is where he falters, knees going out from under him and dragging Hien with him in a graceless tilt.
Whether they end up on the floor or whether Hien manages to be the alpha omega, the base instinct is the same—he curls in, shoulders hunching, arms pulling across his ribs as though he can physically hold the coughing back.
not all of us can be an alpha yosuke… ]
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It all happens so fast.
Hien tumbles when Elysium falls, but just barely manages to catch him in his arms before he takes the full impact of the pain that Elysium endures. He was already experiencing pain and even though he's used to feeling pain, he still hates pain. The sudden feeling shocks him that he stays frozen, but manages to keep Elysium in his hold, but even stronger this time. ]
"Elysium, what's--I thought the river would have..."
[ It didn't heal him fully? What's happening? He remembers seeing him cough like this in the morgue. His mental capacity is so fuckin kaput right now. All of this is such a turn-off, but he's still in heat and he is SO MISERABLE, both physically and mentally. ]
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… It's something from back home.
[ is the assumption he came to, anyway, when it didn't clear up along with everything else. The river isn't almighty or something. ]
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[ His head is spinning. Emotionally, he's so turned off right now, but the heat mechanic is making this extremely difficult. Shit. Fuck. He mutters curses under his breath. He can be a submissive bottom, but he'll always take action when needed... even when his mind feels incredibly stuffy. ]
"Hold on. Let me take you back to the manor..."
[ He tries to teleport, but it fails. ]
"Fucking hell... hang in there, okay?"
[ And he'll just start running. ]
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Still, it is funny how they were in this exact position not too long ago, yet the tone now couldn't be more different. ]
Something like that. [ His voice comes out a little distant, with measured breaths in and out. How he feels now is directly reflected in Hien, and somehow, that's the only thing that's grounding him, chest rising in staccato bursts he struggles to steady. ] … Sorry. I'm always the one owing you.
[ somehow, this pang is more poignant than any other that's come before—visceral, almost hopeless. ]
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Hien suppresses the urge to cough, because he's running. He can't do that when he's running. He runs, runs, and runs and his energy is so spent from dealing with secondhand oripathy, heat mechanic, and now there's a tightness in his chest that's called anxiety. He really wonders how long this will last... Even if he reaches the manor, he doesn't think he can do much. He has something like industrial-level painkillers, and that's about it. All the first aid things are with Hak and Soo-won, if he remembers correctly. This is already a miracle, considering he can barely think. All he can think about right now is Elysium and there are multiple wolves fighting for priority dominance. ]
"You don't... owe me anything."
[ He grits his teeth and sprints again. ]
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Anyway, it's not like Elysium is thinking clearly either. If he were, half of this wouldn't make sense. Hien insists he doesn't owe him anything, but Elysium feels like he owes him the world—for giving it to him in the expanse of his arms. But what could someone like him possibly give back, aside from momentary flashes of a happily-ever-after that won't last?
(This is why you've always told yourself to let go.) ]
Haha. [ But he doesn't, and a thin, brittle laugh bubbles up as he holds on tighter. ] As much as you like to say you like seeing others happy, I just want to make you happy. [ … ] What should I do?
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Hien gradually slows. He can't keep this up forever when he's got so much going on inside his body right now. The maze feels like it never ends, and what he thought was the correct passageway, turns out to be the wrong one. He thought he would have been used to this by now, but it just annoys him. Stop trying to gaslight him, maze!!!
But Hien eventually comes to a stop, his breathing heavy for a variety of reasons and Elysium being so close to him with his feelings exponentially growing into something that's too much--he wants to stop thinking. Stop thinking. Stop-- ]
"Then be happy--"
[ He presses his face against the side of Elysium's head as if that would make him feel better somehow the same way a dog nuzzles the owner when said owner feels sick or sad. His mouth is close to Elysium's ear. ]
"--with me."
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There's a long span of silence. One, where Hien wouldn't be faulted for thinking Elysium's ignoring him. But then comes the sound of a resigned sigh, and he's leaning back against Hien, tucking into him the way a bird might seek warmth and shelter beside another on its perch. In one smooth motion, he reaches up, plucks a feather from behind his own ear, and…
tucks it gently behind Hien's, fingers threading through his hair with slow and deliberate care. ]
… How's this? A part of me will always be with you.
[ sorry. he can't make promises he can't keep. ]
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But also, he doesn't want to lose this feather. So. ]
"Take it out. It's gonna fall off when I start running again. Give it to me later."
[ submissive bottom? sorry he doesnt have the personality for it right now ]
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But the Elysium of now isn't thinking about that; he's thinking about the later where they'll actually have to be face-to-face for the handoff. That's embarrassing. No way. Even if Hien doesn't understand the significance of it, Elysium does, and that's mortifying enough for him to want Hien to forget about it altogether. Maybe he will. ]
You don't need to push yourself this far. [ into his pocket the feather goes. it feels heavier than it ought to be. ] Getting to the manor a few minutes sooner won't make much of a difference. [ … ] Look after yourself, too.
[ getting to it at all won't change anything for that matter, but he wisely keeps that part to himself. ]
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[ Hien huffs before starting to run again. ]
"Who else would I push so hard for? I said it before. I love you."
[ And they finally arrive at the Purrfect Penance. The pain lingers, but he feels like he can breathe a little better because the fuckin heat mechanic is gone. It doesn't stop him from wanting Elysium to feel better, so he takes a room that nobody is using and places him on the bed. If Elysium tries getting out, Hien will push him back onto the bed. ]
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…
Hien's cool. They ignore things all the time? It's fine. They can ignore this, too. The AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaa from earlier intensifies. ]
Flare-ups only last for as long as it takes for my medication to kick in.
[ He quietly rummages through his bag, pops a few pills, and then obediently sinks into the bed, curling up until only his mop of hair is left visible. He thinks he'd said that placidly? He hopes so? Good god. ]
… I really do owe you for this. I mean it. [ just lays it out plainly. ] Nothing you say is going to change that.
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"Fine. Just get better soon. And give me the feather."
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He hears the last sentence and decides it's better to play dead. ]
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[ He's sitting right there next to your sick self, boy. Hien tries to peer over at him. ]
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Just ignore how his eyes are shut tight in that very telling way that says he's not asleep at all……… ]
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"... No?"
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…
He shoots upright before thinking——probably smacking their foreheads in the process. ]
—ow!
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Hien just puts a hand over his forehead. That HUUUUUUURT but he's actually very good at not making pain indicator sounds, so he just stands there, frowning a little. Ow. ]
"You shouldn't be sitting up that fast even when you're feeling healthy."
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Whose fault is this, Hien… (It's Elysium's.) ]
I'll get you something better than that other thing.
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"I only asked you to hold it so that it doesn't fall out when I run. So it's mine now."
[ give him his stuff!!! ]
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No, I get it. It was your way of letting me down easy. Who do you think I am, some guy without EQ? How about this: I'll cook you an Iberian specialty instead. Not many people can say they've had something made by these hands.
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