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[selfconcept]

HELLO

"..."

GOODBYE

TEXT | VIDEO | VOICE | ACTION

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[transmit]

[ me looking at his top-level and not seeing the chastity memory… where is it. give it to me so i can put it in my mouth…

Anyway, it's not like Elysium is thinking clearly either. If he were, half of this wouldn't make sense. Hien insists he doesn't owe him anything, but Elysium feels like he owes him the world—for giving it to him in the expanse of his arms. But what could someone like him possibly give back, aside from momentary flashes of a happily-ever-after that won't last?

(This is why you've always told yourself to let go.) ]

Haha. [ But he doesn't, and a thin, brittle laugh bubbles up as he holds on tighter. ] As much as you like to say you like seeing others happy, I just want to make you happy. [ … ] What should I do?

[selfconcept]

[ feeds u

Hien gradually slows. He can't keep this up forever when he's got so much going on inside his body right now. The maze feels like it never ends, and what he thought was the correct passageway, turns out to be the wrong one. He thought he would have been used to this by now, but it just annoys him. Stop trying to gaslight him, maze!!!

But Hien eventually comes to a stop, his breathing heavy for a variety of reasons and Elysium being so close to him with his feelings exponentially growing into something that's too much--he wants to stop thinking. Stop thinking. Stop-- ]

"Then be happy--"

[ He presses his face against the side of Elysium's head as if that would make him feel better somehow the same way a dog nuzzles the owner when said owner feels sick or sad. His mouth is close to Elysium's ear. ]

"--with me."

[transmit]

[ not hien asking for the impossible.

There's a long span of silence. One, where Hien wouldn't be faulted for thinking Elysium's ignoring him. But then comes the sound of a resigned sigh, and he's leaning back against Hien, tucking into him the way a bird might seek warmth and shelter beside another on its perch. In one smooth motion, he reaches up, plucks a feather from behind his own ear, and…

tucks it gently behind Hien's, fingers threading through his hair with slow and deliberate care. ]

… How's this? A part of me will always be with you.

[ sorry. he can't make promises he can't keep. ]

[selfconcept]

[ sorry he's still feeling omega pheromone stuff so he visibly shivers at the way elysium tucks the feather behind hien's ear. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaa

But also, he doesn't want to lose this feather. So. ]

"Take it out. It's gonna fall off when I start running again. Give it to me later."

[ submissive bottom? sorry he doesnt have the personality for it right now ]

[transmit]

[ give it to him later, he says… so now he's going to have a cursed ass feather laying around, one he can neither give nor throw away. the uno reverse of hien haunting his narrative… cool.g

But the Elysium of now isn't thinking about that; he's thinking about the later where they'll actually have to be face-to-face for the handoff. That's embarrassing. No way. Even if Hien doesn't understand the significance of it, Elysium does, and that's mortifying enough for him to want Hien to forget about it altogether. Maybe he will. ]

You don't need to push yourself this far. [ into his pocket the feather goes. it feels heavier than it ought to be. ] Getting to the manor a few minutes sooner won't make much of a difference. [ … ] Look after yourself, too.

[ getting to it at all won't change anything for that matter, but he wisely keeps that part to himself. ]

[selfconcept]

"I'm looking after the both of us. I don't like pain either, but you..."

[ Hien huffs before starting to run again. ]

"Who else would I push so hard for? I said it before. I love you."

[ And they finally arrive at the Purrfect Penance. The pain lingers, but he feels like he can breathe a little better because the fuckin heat mechanic is gone. It doesn't stop him from wanting Elysium to feel better, so he takes a room that nobody is using and places him on the bed. If Elysium tries getting out, Hien will push him back onto the bed. ]

[transmit]

[ ——Ah. Everything clicks into place, almost alarmingly fast. His heart is still sprinting entire distances by the time he's unceremoniously deposited onto this random ass bed, and he has to sit there a few seconds just to get his breath under control, hand to chest.

…

Hien's cool. They ignore things all the time? It's fine. They can ignore this, too. The AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaa from earlier intensifies. ]

Flare-ups only last for as long as it takes for my medication to kick in.

[ He quietly rummages through his bag, pops a few pills, and then obediently sinks into the bed, curling up until only his mop of hair is left visible. He thinks he'd said that placidly? He hopes so? Good god. ]

… I really do owe you for this. I mean it. [ just lays it out plainly. ] Nothing you say is going to change that.

[selfconcept]

[ Elysium had medicine in his bag all along. Hien just... stares for a minute, letting the adrenaline leave his system. He lets out a quiet sigh, tucks Elysium in and sits on the edge of the bed while facing him. ]

"Fine. Just get better soon. And give me the feather."

[transmit]

[ sometimes you're too h*rny to think about things properly








He hears the last sentence and decides it's better to play dead. ]

[selfconcept]

"... Elysium?"

[ He's sitting right there next to your sick self, boy. Hien tries to peer over at him. ]

[transmit]

[ Some people fall asleep the instant their head hits the pillow, okay.

Just ignore how his eyes are shut tight in that very telling way that says he's not asleep at all……… ]

[selfconcept]

[ Hien knows that occurs because it happens to him. He's the sleepy one, not you, Elysium!! But he tries to check and sees him closing his eyes really tight. ]

"... No?"

[transmit]

[ DON'T ACT LIKE A KICKED PUPPY HE CAN'T TAKE IT

…

He shoots upright before thinking——probably smacking their foreheads in the process. ]

—ow!

[selfconcept]

[ .................................

Hien just puts a hand over his forehead. That HUUUUUUURT but he's actually very good at not making pain indicator sounds, so he just stands there, frowning a little. Ow. ]

"You shouldn't be sitting up that fast even when you're feeling healthy."

[transmit]

[ It's true… now all he has to show for his hubris is vertigo, which is probably being sent over to Hien anyway given the nature of the week. He presses another hand to his temple.

Whose fault is this, Hien… (It's Elysium's.) ]

I'll get you something better than that other thing.

[selfconcept]

[ Oh... that's not fun. Hien manages to hold onto his balance, but just barely. Good thing he's already sitting. ]

"I only asked you to hold it so that it doesn't fall out when I run. So it's mine now."

[ give him his stuff!!! ]

[transmit]

[ They're both sane now; there is literally no reason for Hien to be like this. He's going to kill him. He explodes him in his mind. ]

No, I get it. It was your way of letting me down easy. Who do you think I am, some guy without EQ? How about this: I'll cook you an Iberian specialty instead. Not many people can say they've had something made by these hands.

[selfconcept]

[ Hien stares at Elysium for a long, long while without saying anything, but when he finally does: ]

"No."

[ Hien? Rejecting food???? ]

[transmit]

[ WHO ARE YOU ]

I think you meant yes?

[ gaslights ]

[selfconcept]

[ Hien looks at Elysium for a moment, again, in silence. ]

"You can say that you changed your mind. I won't be offended."

[ Hien decides to be forthright with Elysium, even though he won't bet on the possibility of it being returned. ]

[transmit]

[ He sinks his face into his hands. ]

I don't know why you're so insistent, but it'd essentially mean you're being courted by me. Fia would recognise it in an instant…

[selfconcept]

"So you can't give it to me because you changed your mind about courting me, right?"

[ He'll just make him flat out say it. ]

[transmit]

[ Sorry, he just stares at Hien like




❓ ]

[selfconcept]

[ Hien thought he said it clearly, so he's not sure why Elysium is looking confused for. So he'll say it again. ]

"Giving the feather to someone means that you're courting that person, right? I'm assuming your feelings aren't the same now as when you did try giving it to me before, so you're changing your mind about courting me. That's why you don't want to give me the feather. If you still can't understand this, I'll have to question your EQ."

[transmit]

[ There's a long, drawn-out pause. For a moment, it almost looks like he wants to laugh, either in disbelief or sheer ridicule at the situation. But instead he just smiles weakly and fumbles in his pockets until he produces the feather in his palm. ]

Let me put it more plainly.

… Not all Liberi commit to a single companion in life, but in my ethnic group, giving someone your feather carries that meaning. I think we can both agree we were under some kind of influence until we reached the manor. Knowing that, you wouldn't be the kind of guy to just keep it either, right? If I gave it to you now, it'd be just as irresponsible——forget courting or not, it's deeper than that.