hien callias, world eater (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
selfconcept) wrote2025-11-13 07:51 pm
selfconcept) wrote2025-11-13 07:51 pm
purgastory >> inbox
HELLO
"..."
GOODBYE
TEXT | VIDEO | VOICE | ACTION
"..."
GOODBYE
TEXT | VIDEO | VOICE | ACTION
[ give him a moment to cover his mouth with his hand and ruminate on that for a moment. ]
... it's probably really scary for you right now when you're so used to that being a part of who you are, isn't it?
[ bro he was literally here last week, he will walk you through it. ]
... it's probably really scary for you right now when you're so used to that being a part of who you are, isn't it?
[ bro he was literally here last week, he will walk you through it. ]
[ yosuke help what did you even lose
Hien hesitates. Yosuke is right, but he should explain. ]
"Since... I'm what the 'Self' is supposed to be, yeah, losing a part of me always makes that side of me flip out, but I try not to let it get to me too much. My body barely functions on the days when my other selves die, so I feel like a bedridden person on top of that."
[ ... ]
"But that's not why I feel anxious. It just means that there's only one person that stands between me and becoming a monster forever and I... I--"
[ Okay, he's genuinely freaking out. The person you considered to be chill is in high anxiety mode right now. ]
Hien hesitates. Yosuke is right, but he should explain. ]
"Since... I'm what the 'Self' is supposed to be, yeah, losing a part of me always makes that side of me flip out, but I try not to let it get to me too much. My body barely functions on the days when my other selves die, so I feel like a bedridden person on top of that."
[ ... ]
"But that's not why I feel anxious. It just means that there's only one person that stands between me and becoming a monster forever and I... I--"
[ Okay, he's genuinely freaking out. The person you considered to be chill is in high anxiety mode right now. ]
[ i rolled a 7 which felt too normal for what we're inflicting on you so now i'm here with my 1 i guess
something something there is no resisting the allure of gacha so here they are. ]
It's cute, I guess. [ He lifts his charm, turning it over with a curious tilt of his head… then glances over at Hien.
… ] What did you get?
something something there is no resisting the allure of gacha so here they are. ]
It's cute, I guess. [ He lifts his charm, turning it over with a curious tilt of his head… then glances over at Hien.
… ] What did you get?
"A keychain of... an omega symbol?"
[ ??? This isn't cute!! He doesn't even think this is for omega pheromones!! ]
"I need a reroll."
[ ??? This isn't cute!! He doesn't even think this is for omega pheromones!! ]
"I need a reroll."
[ Good thing he likes physical affection. Hien is usually the one who does that and doesn't mind when others do it to him either. But Elysium is so close and... oh no. Hien is naturally warmer than the average person, but he feels... hot? Huh. He feels so confused. Have fun feeling all those physical sensations, Elysium. ]
"... Yeah."
[ His voice gets a little quieter. ]
"... Yeah."
[ His voice gets a little quieter. ]
[ Is this… how they get triple cursed…
The positioning alone is probably cursed enough; it makes it far too easy to draw him in fully, one arm circling around his waist while Elysium's other hand hovers just above Hien's.
what's the flavour profile looking like… 🎤 ]
Hm? What was that? You were too far. [ okay. ] I couldn't hear you.
The positioning alone is probably cursed enough; it makes it far too easy to draw him in fully, one arm circling around his waist while Elysium's other hand hovers just above Hien's.
what's the flavour profile looking like… 🎤 ]
Hm? What was that? You were too far. [ okay. ] I couldn't hear you.
[ haha.
he has a lot more questions about hien's entire make-up suddenly but those can wait because they're not important. what is important is that he's freaking out, and it's not like yosuke doesn't understand why, so what he does instead is sort of crawls around to sit in front of him and grab both of his hands.
he sort of pauses like "why did i do that" for a moment, but then he figures it's something to kind of root him in reality and try to keep him focused so they can talk through it. if hien's panicking, it's really only going to make things worse. ]
You're not going to become a monster. Okay? I promise. That's not happening here, you're going to be okay. [ convincing, yoosk. ] ... it's going to feel this way for a while, but your powers aren't gone because that self died. They will come back. But the river takes things as a price. That's why it works so well.
he has a lot more questions about hien's entire make-up suddenly but those can wait because they're not important. what is important is that he's freaking out, and it's not like yosuke doesn't understand why, so what he does instead is sort of crawls around to sit in front of him and grab both of his hands.
he sort of pauses like "why did i do that" for a moment, but then he figures it's something to kind of root him in reality and try to keep him focused so they can talk through it. if hien's panicking, it's really only going to make things worse. ]
You're not going to become a monster. Okay? I promise. That's not happening here, you're going to be okay. [ convincing, yoosk. ] ... it's going to feel this way for a while, but your powers aren't gone because that self died. They will come back. But the river takes things as a price. That's why it works so well.
[ The way Hien usually doesn't smell of anything because of what he is, but does coffee scent count. He drinks so much of that to the point it might as well leak as pheromones. Anyway, despite feeling warm usually and hot right now, he likes Elysium's warmth on his back.
Them being love arrowed together probably makes this worse. Hien's heart is pounding. Is this going to create a feedback loop until someone's heart explodes. Stay tuned. ]
"I said..."
[ He turns his head to look at Elysium, but he just ends up nipping across his jawline instead. ]
Them being love arrowed together probably makes this worse. Hien's heart is pounding. Is this going to create a feedback loop until someone's heart explodes. Stay tuned. ]
"I said..."
[ He turns his head to look at Elysium, but he just ends up nipping across his jawline instead. ]
[ fucking help me. hien, your coffee. i asked for your favour profile as a meme but i'm actually too embarrassed to do anything with it… his akira coding
But sensationshare with omegaverse mechanics sounds like hell on earth, so if someone doesn't explode at some point, I'm suing. There's a half-gasp, caught and swallowed by the pinch of tension left on his tongue by teeth. Forgoing the excuse of gacha entirely, his other arm joins in, lifting him just slightly off his feet with a light, mischievous grin.
Cute! He's immediately washed over with fondness. It tickles—both skin and heart. ]
You really aren't the type to keep up pretenses whatsoever, are you? [ Was his pulse always this loud? His cheeks warm, and he angles his neck in a way that looks like he's granting access but really it's just to hide the colour. ] Does doing this here excite you?
But sensationshare with omegaverse mechanics sounds like hell on earth, so if someone doesn't explode at some point, I'm suing. There's a half-gasp, caught and swallowed by the pinch of tension left on his tongue by teeth. Forgoing the excuse of gacha entirely, his other arm joins in, lifting him just slightly off his feet with a light, mischievous grin.
Cute! He's immediately washed over with fondness. It tickles—both skin and heart. ]
You really aren't the type to keep up pretenses whatsoever, are you? [ Was his pulse always this loud? His cheeks warm, and he angles his neck in a way that looks like he's granting access but really it's just to hide the colour. ] Does doing this here excite you?
[ Even though Hien is in high anxiety, he recognizes what Yosuke tries to do for him. He tries to focus to listen to him. Focus. Pay attention. Yosuke is the only one here right now with Hien. ]
"If it takes away my powers, then fine... That's fine. It can take them. I don't care. I just don't hear that guy specifically anymore. I can't hear him, but I can hear everyone else."
"If it takes away my powers, then fine... That's fine. It can take them. I don't care. I just don't hear that guy specifically anymore. I can't hear him, but I can hear everyone else."
[ Oh, he will. Don't worry, Lucien. ]
"Thanks. I know I can count on you."
[ oooouuughhh lucien is soooooo cuuuuuuute
Despite everything, there's a pressure weighing on his chest--it's a similar feeling when you usually feel anxious. Have fun physically feeling that, Lucien. ]
"Thanks. I know I can count on you."
[ oooouuughhh lucien is soooooo cuuuuuuute
Despite everything, there's a pressure weighing on his chest--it's a similar feeling when you usually feel anxious. Have fun physically feeling that, Lucien. ]
[ He can't wake up without his ten cups of coffee. It's fine.
me like "is this curse saying that i have to write him as the stereotypical bottom or just how hien would act as a bottom" because these are two separate things. this is fine. probably.
But oh. He can't feel his feet on the ground. Alright. But Hien sees the way Elysium angles his neck and... is that........... permission.................. he isn't sure, but he's in heat so he's starting to care less and less about waiting. He's in love. he wants him. He-- ]
"No... I just want you."
[ He quietly breathes out, as if it's reminding him to let go of any shame that he could possibly have. ]
"... Please."
me like "is this curse saying that i have to write him as the stereotypical bottom or just how hien would act as a bottom" because these are two separate things. this is fine. probably.
But oh. He can't feel his feet on the ground. Alright. But Hien sees the way Elysium angles his neck and... is that........... permission.................. he isn't sure, but he's in heat so he's starting to care less and less about waiting. He's in love. he wants him. He-- ]
"No... I just want you."
[ He quietly breathes out, as if it's reminding him to let go of any shame that he could possibly have. ]
"... Please."
[ we're here to live our best lives… it's fine
Anyway. The way this very well would lead into bang if emotional connections weren't the bane of Elysium's short-lived existence. Love is sweet——but it's equally as painful, something Hien will likely feel in the wrenching of his chest the moment he utters his plea.
He's in love, too. He wants him, just as desperately. But beyond that—
This is how Elysium draws him the rest of the way up, closing the distance between their mouths without hesitation. He kisses him, bites at his lower lip even, in attempt to coax his mouth open. Whatever feedback loop they've gotten into, it coils and tightens around his chest, almost nauseatingly so. But he doesn't let go, not until air has well left his lungs—or Hien tells him to stop. Then he lets their foreheads rest together, eyes falling shut. ]
… How's this? [ a sigh, followed by a brush of mouth along his forehead. ] If you still feel the same tomorrow, we can continue wherever you like. But right now… we aren't ourselves. And this isn't something I want you to rush. There's a lot you don't know about me.
[ —beyond that, there is the haunting echo of the scars inflicted on the people who get left behind. Where this love came from doesn't matter. What matters is Hien: his heart and the future where he'll have to live with something that can't be undone.
This is why you don't date a guy whose favourite band is the fantasy-equivalent of Linkin Park btw. ]
Anyway. The way this very well would lead into bang if emotional connections weren't the bane of Elysium's short-lived existence. Love is sweet——but it's equally as painful, something Hien will likely feel in the wrenching of his chest the moment he utters his plea.
He's in love, too. He wants him, just as desperately. But beyond that—
This is how Elysium draws him the rest of the way up, closing the distance between their mouths without hesitation. He kisses him, bites at his lower lip even, in attempt to coax his mouth open. Whatever feedback loop they've gotten into, it coils and tightens around his chest, almost nauseatingly so. But he doesn't let go, not until air has well left his lungs—or Hien tells him to stop. Then he lets their foreheads rest together, eyes falling shut. ]
… How's this? [ a sigh, followed by a brush of mouth along his forehead. ] If you still feel the same tomorrow, we can continue wherever you like. But right now… we aren't ourselves. And this isn't something I want you to rush. There's a lot you don't know about me.
[ —beyond that, there is the haunting echo of the scars inflicted on the people who get left behind. Where this love came from doesn't matter. What matters is Hien: his heart and the future where he'll have to live with something that can't be undone.
This is why you don't date a guy whose favourite band is the fantasy-equivalent of Linkin Park btw. ]
[ The painful feeling in his chest doubles, because while he might not know much about Elysium, he can tell that he tries to maintain emotional distance from people. He's seen so much of it that he can recognize it on the spot. Hien returns the kiss, parting his lips. He doesn't tell him to stop. He would never. This is why there's a soft whine when Elysium pulls back to brush his lips against Hien's forehead. He tries to catch his breath, because he's panting and everything is so hot. He feels a little dizzy from that kiss alone.
i'm actually looking up "what happens to an omega when they're in heat" and wow i really subjected hien to this while only being vaguely aware of this genre huh i'm not taking it back though ]
"But... I..."
[ He doesn't make any sound, but he nearly winces. Elysium will be able to feel the pain that radiates throughout his body. Yippee. ]
"Elysium..."
[ He tries to pull him close for another kiss. ]
i'm actually looking up "what happens to an omega when they're in heat" and wow i really subjected hien to this while only being vaguely aware of this genre huh i'm not taking it back though ]
"But... I..."
[ He doesn't make any sound, but he nearly winces. Elysium will be able to feel the pain that radiates throughout his body. Yippee. ]
"Elysium..."
[ He tries to pull him close for another kiss. ]
[ he will keep his grip a little tight until they can both relax a little further, if only because this is a lot. ]
It's... it can take things from you that shouldn't even be possible. It wouldn't surprise me if it took that connection, too. Everything that's tied to that self, powers and all, could be considered a price to pay for healing. But I promise it'll come back. It'll just take time.
[ unless haki is feeling mean and takes it away forever.... ]
It's... it can take things from you that shouldn't even be possible. It wouldn't surprise me if it took that connection, too. Everything that's tied to that self, powers and all, could be considered a price to pay for healing. But I promise it'll come back. It'll just take time.
[ unless haki is feeling mean and takes it away forever.... ]
[ :) ]
"Just that one specifically?"
[ It just feels so weird to Hien, who has more or less accepted that things happen to him just because it does, and not because of cause and effect. ]
"Why just that one? I have billions of others. But that one specifically? Just..."
[ Hien is quiet. Yosuke is doing his best to keep him rooted to reality here, but sometimes you learn how to filter constant voices in your head and when you start losing yourself, you also lose control of that filter. It's so loud. He feels like he's getting a headache. Hien is usually calm because he thought he was over these sorts of breakdowns. Turns out he isn't, no matter how long he lived.
He does his best to focus on Yosuke in front of him. He's right there. ]
"... Okay."
[ The anxiety isn't completely gone, but it's now overshadowed with something that feels like a daily necessity has been skipped too many times and your body starts to rebel against you.
Deprive a man of his water and sink him into the thirst, and he'll forget how to be human again. ]
"Just that one specifically?"
[ It just feels so weird to Hien, who has more or less accepted that things happen to him just because it does, and not because of cause and effect. ]
"Why just that one? I have billions of others. But that one specifically? Just..."
[ Hien is quiet. Yosuke is doing his best to keep him rooted to reality here, but sometimes you learn how to filter constant voices in your head and when you start losing yourself, you also lose control of that filter. It's so loud. He feels like he's getting a headache. Hien is usually calm because he thought he was over these sorts of breakdowns. Turns out he isn't, no matter how long he lived.
He does his best to focus on Yosuke in front of him. He's right there. ]
"... Okay."
[ The anxiety isn't completely gone, but it's now overshadowed with something that feels like a daily necessity has been skipped too many times and your body starts to rebel against you.
Deprive a man of his water and sink him into the thirst, and he'll forget how to be human again. ]
[ make yosuke a liar, i dare you. ]
Because it's one of the most important ones to you. What kind of a sacrifice would it be if it was something you had plenty of? [ he just says this, and he kind of flinches a little because redstring, hien, your headache is becoming his headache, but it's fine. he can deal.
in a weird way, he's oddly fascinated watching him break down because it's so unusual, but it does prove that nobody's invincible. the anxiety isn't completely gone, but he's still taking time to ease him off the ledge and hopefully help somehow. it's why he pauses... and then decides to explain. ]
... it took Takehaya Susano-o from me. [ which should have also been physically impossible since the persona is yosuke, a large part of him. ] It took about a week for it to come back, but I... it felt empty the whole time. Like a huge piece of me was gone.
[ since. well. it was. he is only saying this to say he kind of knows how it feels to be extremely anxious and insane about something that's such an integral part of you to have it suddenly disappear and signify a huge change you don't want. for hien, it's the difference between being himself and a monster. for yosuke, it's the difference between who he was and who he is now. ]
Because it's one of the most important ones to you. What kind of a sacrifice would it be if it was something you had plenty of? [ he just says this, and he kind of flinches a little because redstring, hien, your headache is becoming his headache, but it's fine. he can deal.
in a weird way, he's oddly fascinated watching him break down because it's so unusual, but it does prove that nobody's invincible. the anxiety isn't completely gone, but he's still taking time to ease him off the ledge and hopefully help somehow. it's why he pauses... and then decides to explain. ]
... it took Takehaya Susano-o from me. [ which should have also been physically impossible since the persona is yosuke, a large part of him. ] It took about a week for it to come back, but I... it felt empty the whole time. Like a huge piece of me was gone.
[ since. well. it was. he is only saying this to say he kind of knows how it feels to be extremely anxious and insane about something that's such an integral part of you to have it suddenly disappear and signify a huge change you don't want. for hien, it's the difference between being himself and a monster. for yosuke, it's the difference between who he was and who he is now. ]
[ you're killing me… i also only know the super tropey ends of it and the fun fact that western and eastern omegaverse differs in that the latter often includes actual healthcare. looks to mods. where are our omega rights. we could fix hien right now.
But kissing is fine. It stokes the heat to unbearable degrees, but it's still easier than addressing the pain that gets consumed by it. A half-measure, maybe, as intimacy is intimacy; does it really matter what form it takes when it lands all the same? It's almost a little pathetic. No, it is.
He's greedy, he's selfish. He goes wherever he wants to, and leaves the same way. He's always known this about himself in ways he's never wanted to acknowledge, which is why it's always been better not to get involved at all—superficial cuts heal cleanly. But here they are, and he's making the stupid justification that he's at least made one boundary, paltry as it is. ]
Te quiero, Hien. [ He shifts the angle and kisses him again. Then shifts a third time, deeper. It feels endless, like no amount of it will ever satisfy, and somewhere in the back of his mind he knows there should be a limit. His restraint only stretches so far. ] … I might not be someone you can have a future with, but I can at least do this much for you.
[ take care of the h*rny i guess except not really. explodes them the next tag. ]
But kissing is fine. It stokes the heat to unbearable degrees, but it's still easier than addressing the pain that gets consumed by it. A half-measure, maybe, as intimacy is intimacy; does it really matter what form it takes when it lands all the same? It's almost a little pathetic. No, it is.
He's greedy, he's selfish. He goes wherever he wants to, and leaves the same way. He's always known this about himself in ways he's never wanted to acknowledge, which is why it's always been better not to get involved at all—superficial cuts heal cleanly. But here they are, and he's making the stupid justification that he's at least made one boundary, paltry as it is. ]
Te quiero, Hien. [ He shifts the angle and kisses him again. Then shifts a third time, deeper. It feels endless, like no amount of it will ever satisfy, and somewhere in the back of his mind he knows there should be a limit. His restraint only stretches so far. ] … I might not be someone you can have a future with, but I can at least do this much for you.
[ take care of the h*rny i guess except not really. explodes them the next tag. ]
[ i won't, but it gave me a great idea for the possible next time if he gets dumped into the river!
Yosuke is trying so hard for this guy and he means so well, but when he says Takehaya Susano-o was gone, Hien's eyes just get wide. Sure, the Persona eventually returned, but... losing a part of himself like that is...
It's...
He can't process this right now. Give him a few moments. He's going to curl up into a ball for a bit. ]
Yosuke is trying so hard for this guy and he means so well, but when he says Takehaya Susano-o was gone, Hien's eyes just get wide. Sure, the Persona eventually returned, but... losing a part of himself like that is...
It's...
He can't process this right now. Give him a few moments. He's going to curl up into a ball for a bit. ]
[ NO!!!
double NO!!! yosuke is trying but to be fair he's not always the best, so he says that and hien just kind of falls over and yosuke immediately panics. ]
H-hey! [ AH. NO. HOW DOES HE FIX THIS. he's kind of letting his hands hover like he's not sure what to do before realizing that there's some fucky thing happening in the maze that's doing a new feedback loop, so he's quickly re-prioritizing to calm himself down so they aren't in a double panic loop. ]
... [ maybe he needs to just shut up for a second and wait it out. restrategize. all of that. ]
double NO!!! yosuke is trying but to be fair he's not always the best, so he says that and hien just kind of falls over and yosuke immediately panics. ]
H-hey! [ AH. NO. HOW DOES HE FIX THIS. he's kind of letting his hands hover like he's not sure what to do before realizing that there's some fucky thing happening in the maze that's doing a new feedback loop, so he's quickly re-prioritizing to calm himself down so they aren't in a double panic loop. ]
... [ maybe he needs to just shut up for a second and wait it out. restrategize. all of that. ]
[ help... healthcare for hien but it's not the mods, but i. no rights for hien.
Love only fuels the desire and want and only further encouraged by the multiple kisses. It's hard to think at all right now, but Hien wants Elysium here. That's all he knows. Otherwise, he would have been thinking about how he used to feel like this, how he tried to avoid love in the beginning because he always outlived them or had to leave. He sees Elysium trying to do something similar but no words come out. Nothing reasonable. ]
"We can have a future, Elysium. I love you. I don't think I ever loved anyone else so much. Don't leave me..."
[ Maybe if he wasn't so horny, he wouldn't be begging for Elysium to stay, but he is (reads notes) having impaired thought processes at the moment. Nailed it. His fingers, while having short nails, still claw at Elysium's arms. ]
Love only fuels the desire and want and only further encouraged by the multiple kisses. It's hard to think at all right now, but Hien wants Elysium here. That's all he knows. Otherwise, he would have been thinking about how he used to feel like this, how he tried to avoid love in the beginning because he always outlived them or had to leave. He sees Elysium trying to do something similar but no words come out. Nothing reasonable. ]
"We can have a future, Elysium. I love you. I don't think I ever loved anyone else so much. Don't leave me..."
[ Maybe if he wasn't so horny, he wouldn't be begging for Elysium to stay, but he is (reads notes) having impaired thought processes at the moment. Nailed it. His fingers, while having short nails, still claw at Elysium's arms. ]
[ It's still loud despite Yosuke's silence, but he can see through the noise. Yosuke is here. There's someone here, wishing to support him. He needs to snap out of it, but how can he, when he's one step closer to becoming a monster and ravaging all the worlds that exist? When he worked so hard to--
...
Yosuke will feel something cool wash over him, as if he's trying to breathe while panicking. Let everything go. Calm down. ]
"... Yosuke."
[ He's still curled up. ]
...
Yosuke will feel something cool wash over him, as if he's trying to breathe while panicking. Let everything go. Calm down. ]
"... Yosuke."
[ He's still curled up. ]
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