hien callias, world eater (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
selfconcept) wrote2025-11-13 07:51 pm
selfconcept) wrote2025-11-13 07:51 pm
purgastory >> inbox
HELLO
"..."
GOODBYE
TEXT | VIDEO | VOICE | ACTION
"..."
GOODBYE
TEXT | VIDEO | VOICE | ACTION
[ His first box was weighted, but contained nothing. ]
"... Despite everything, I like living."
[ He feels Edamura's hand, tight, around his own and looks down at it. He can feel the trepidation in his fingers, just a little, but it means a whole lot in those small actions. ]
"I was looking for ways to stop being a monster. I still am and this is... just one of those ways that I need to try."
"... Despite everything, I like living."
[ He feels Edamura's hand, tight, around his own and looks down at it. He can feel the trepidation in his fingers, just a little, but it means a whole lot in those small actions. ]
"I was looking for ways to stop being a monster. I still am and this is... just one of those ways that I need to try."
[ Hien conveniently forgets not everything is sentient. ]
"... Right."
"... Right."
[Despite everything, I like living]
[I want you to keep living. I want you to be happy. I want your life to be peaceful.]
How. . . would it work?
[lifting his gaze to search Hien's expression, the same trepidation that sends shivers through his fingers reflected in his eyes]
How would it get rid of the monster, but not. . . you?
[I want you to keep living. I want you to be happy. I want your life to be peaceful.]
How. . . would it work?
[lifting his gaze to search Hien's expression, the same trepidation that sends shivers through his fingers reflected in his eyes]
How would it get rid of the monster, but not. . . you?
[ even if the clinginess has worn off by now (who knows) he just accepts this and stays here. ]
Hilarious.
Were all six of you together? It didn't feel like you were.
Hilarious.
Were all six of you together? It didn't feel like you were.
[ Hien is very patient, but he eventually falls asleep. ]
"I do, but you win some, you lose some. I got my sense of self back, and that's the minimum I need to function properly."
[ Maybe if he words it like this, it'll be harder to be lumped in as a person. ]
[ Maybe if he words it like this, it'll be harder to be lumped in as a person. ]
"... It doesn't. We both go."
[ Hien's eyes are downcast and his expression mostly hasn't changed. But Edamura will be able to tell that there's definitely some sort of emotional vulnerability going on. ]
[ Hien's eyes are downcast and his expression mostly hasn't changed. But Edamura will be able to tell that there's definitely some sort of emotional vulnerability going on. ]
[ damn… he wanted to stop at the cliffhanger (like either of them really care who Felicia ends up with), but this works too.
He drapes his jacket over his shoulders and goes back to reading—this time a denser physics text that makes for anything but light reading. This is probably the shortest post-CYOA thread because Elysium is lame… but sometimes? You do need a little lame in your life and that's how you stay sane. ]
He drapes his jacket over his shoulders and goes back to reading—this time a denser physics text that makes for anything but light reading. This is probably the shortest post-CYOA thread because Elysium is lame… but sometimes? You do need a little lame in your life and that's how you stay sane. ]
[ because sometimes you like other people so much that it's easier to give up everything for them, including your own comfort. ]
With... Yona.
[ just supplying a name, but also trying to make sense of everything with what he knows. he appreciates hien telling him this, even though hien also went through his own ordeal today. he lays on the floor and pets the nearest cat. he remembers yona, growing up with her, but... hak was there too, huh?
it is a little overwhelming to hear all this, it's true but... logic applies. the person in his shard looks exactly the same as hak, so it... must be. there are so many places in his memory where hak would neatly fill the gap that he didn't know existed.
maybe it's because he's gotten as close to hien as he has, or because he's feeling so distant from it now that he's able to admit—]
I killed the last king to assume the throne. Yona's father.
[ . . . ]
That's the only thing that could make sense, I suppose.
With... Yona.
[ just supplying a name, but also trying to make sense of everything with what he knows. he appreciates hien telling him this, even though hien also went through his own ordeal today. he lays on the floor and pets the nearest cat. he remembers yona, growing up with her, but... hak was there too, huh?
it is a little overwhelming to hear all this, it's true but... logic applies. the person in his shard looks exactly the same as hak, so it... must be. there are so many places in his memory where hak would neatly fill the gap that he didn't know existed.
maybe it's because he's gotten as close to hien as he has, or because he's feeling so distant from it now that he's able to admit—]
I killed the last king to assume the throne. Yona's father.
[ . . . ]
That's the only thing that could make sense, I suppose.
[ i can drag out a thread or cut it where it stands... i am good with either
Hien, though still asleep, clings onto Elysium's arm and buries his face into his shoulder. It's warm... ]
Hien, though still asleep, clings onto Elysium's arm and buries his face into his shoulder. It's warm... ]
"Mm."
[ Hien listens without judgment, merely taking that information in as a factual event that happened. ]
"It does, yeah."
[ Hien listens without judgment, merely taking that information in as a factual event that happened. ]
"It does, yeah."
... This wasn't the first time that I experienced something like it, but all occurrences were terrible. The only thing that's different this time is that I lashed out against people that I like.
[ The tail stops wagging. It droops. ]
[ The tail stops wagging. It droops. ]
[ it sure did happen. soo-won just sighs as he lets himself become one with the floor. ]
... do you ever wonder if, once your goals are accomplished and you've protected the people you want to protect to a satisfactory state... the world might be better off without you?
Even if you like life, and people, and the world. Perhaps even love them most of the time.
Because loving something doesn't mean you're incapable of harming it.
[ asking it all very... matter-of-factly ]
... do you ever wonder if, once your goals are accomplished and you've protected the people you want to protect to a satisfactory state... the world might be better off without you?
Even if you like life, and people, and the world. Perhaps even love them most of the time.
Because loving something doesn't mean you're incapable of harming it.
[ asking it all very... matter-of-factly ]
[ i don't mind dragging things out with infinite timeskips either because they're fun. At the clinging, he furrows his brow as his arm slowly goes numb under the constant weight and pressure, but sacrifices must be made for friendship… ]
Weren't you the one complaining about the pain last time…? This position's going to be hell for your back. … Don't say I didn't warn you.
[ But he doesn't really do anything about it either, and after a moment of staring, he sighs and goes back to reading. ]
Weren't you the one complaining about the pain last time…? This position's going to be hell for your back. … Don't say I didn't warn you.
[ But he doesn't really do anything about it either, and after a moment of staring, he sighs and goes back to reading. ]
[ Hien leads Yosuke to a table where they can sit on chairs and so that Yosuke has a better and more comfortable time writing in the notebook. Hien is glad to see it getting use. ]
"I was only with Sylus and Lucien."
[ ........... ]
"And a bunch of others who shared the people's faces here. Who were the other three?"
"I was only with Sylus and Lucien."
[ ........... ]
"And a bunch of others who shared the people's faces here. Who were the other three?"
"You're asking the wrong person for that. I eat worlds. Of course the world would be better off without me."
[ He sighs. ]
"I get what you mean though. I also like living, but one day, whenever it is in the future, I have to eat all the worlds, which would kill everyone inside of it regardless of what I've done with them--even after saving a single life and watching it grow up... if they haven't died of old age by then, they would have to witness the one who saved them attempting to kill them later. Even just now, I killed you and harmed others despite how much I like them."
[ He sighs. ]
"I get what you mean though. I also like living, but one day, whenever it is in the future, I have to eat all the worlds, which would kill everyone inside of it regardless of what I've done with them--even after saving a single life and watching it grow up... if they haven't died of old age by then, they would have to witness the one who saved them attempting to kill them later. Even just now, I killed you and harmed others despite how much I like them."
[suddenly, so much that happened over the past five weeks makes sense in hindsight. this is what Hien had meant when he said he'd send everyone off at the end of their journey, isn't it? this is why that conversation had give Edamura a vague sense of discontent in the pit of his stomach. everyone else in Purgatory is here searching for someone important to them, but Hien?]
[Hien is slowly plummeting towards oblivion]
That's not fair.
[he hisses, voice low. his grip on Hien's hand is tight enough to hurt now, as if the man will simply vanish right before his very eyes any second now]
. . . that's not fair. [Why do you have to go, too? Why is it all or nothing?] There has to be another way. Not this, Hien.
[a pause, and he repeats, a little quieter but just as firm]
Not. . . this.
[Hien is slowly plummeting towards oblivion]
That's not fair.
[he hisses, voice low. his grip on Hien's hand is tight enough to hurt now, as if the man will simply vanish right before his very eyes any second now]
. . . that's not fair. [Why do you have to go, too? Why is it all or nothing?] There has to be another way. Not this, Hien.
[a pause, and he repeats, a little quieter but just as firm]
Not. . . this.
[ poor elysium
Hien eventually wakes, because somewhere in his dream, he remembers that Elysium wanted to meet up and he's done nothing with him. The hold on Elysium's arm loosens and his back hurts a little, but it's nothing he hasn't dealt with before. He sleeps anywhere, anytime, any place, and in any position. ]
"... You're still here. Sorry, were you waiting for me?"
Hien eventually wakes, because somewhere in his dream, he remembers that Elysium wanted to meet up and he's done nothing with him. The hold on Elysium's arm loosens and his back hurts a little, but it's nothing he hasn't dealt with before. He sleeps anywhere, anytime, any place, and in any position. ]
"... You're still here. Sorry, were you waiting for me?"
I told you in the past. You are my friend, and you happen to be a world eater.
[ so he gets it but... he also doesn't. soo-won's issue is always seeing a person as a whole, their good and bad, and somehow being fond of them anyway. he is always a little distant, but he is nevertheless adoring. ]
But you keep living anyway. Is that it? What dominates your thought process?
[ maybe if he understands hien's, he can justify his own existence a little more. or not. ]
[ so he gets it but... he also doesn't. soo-won's issue is always seeing a person as a whole, their good and bad, and somehow being fond of them anyway. he is always a little distant, but he is nevertheless adoring. ]
But you keep living anyway. Is that it? What dominates your thought process?
[ maybe if he understands hien's, he can justify his own existence a little more. or not. ]
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