selfconcept | purgastory >> inbox

"Mm."

[ Hien listens without judgment, merely taking that information in as a factual event that happened. ]

"It does, yeah."

[ it sure did happen. soo-won just sighs as he lets himself become one with the floor. ]

... do you ever wonder if, once your goals are accomplished and you've protected the people you want to protect to a satisfactory state... the world might be better off without you?

Even if you like life, and people, and the world. Perhaps even love them most of the time.

Because loving something doesn't mean you're incapable of harming it.

[ asking it all very... matter-of-factly ]

"You're asking the wrong person for that. I eat worlds. Of course the world would be better off without me."

[ He sighs. ]

"I get what you mean though. I also like living, but one day, whenever it is in the future, I have to eat all the worlds, which would kill everyone inside of it regardless of what I've done with them--even after saving a single life and watching it grow up... if they haven't died of old age by then, they would have to witness the one who saved them attempting to kill them later. Even just now, I killed you and harmed others despite how much I like them."

I told you in the past. You are my friend, and you happen to be a world eater.

[ so he gets it but... he also doesn't. soo-won's issue is always seeing a person as a whole, their good and bad, and somehow being fond of them anyway. he is always a little distant, but he is nevertheless adoring. ]

But you keep living anyway. Is that it? What dominates your thought process?

[ maybe if he understands hien's, he can justify his own existence a little more. or not. ]

"I keep living, because I like living. But objectively, the universe would be better off without me, so I've been looking for solutions to prevent turning into a monster."

[ ... ]

"Even if it kills me for good."

[ . . . ]

So a race against time, is it? [ to either find a solution or to become that monster that'll destroy everything he loves. soo-won will reach out again to try to catch onto hien's hand ] ... though I think it evident enough that I hope you find a solution that doesn't come to that.

[ They can hold hands... Hien is warm. ]

"I've been looking across many worlds. They didn't exactly work out, but I'm trying with this one."

[ handholdy.... ]

Have you found any leads...?

"Not really a matter of leads, but I'm going to see if what Purgatory gives me will work. If it works, then it works. If it doesn't, then I'll go to another world to find a different solution again."

[ . . . ? ]

Has this place been giving you something?

"We're all looking for someone, aren't we? It's a bit like that."

Mm...

[ well. he supposes he's seen quite a few different types of people in the shards, so. ]

... I hope that the resolution being offered to you is a gentle one.

"Thanks, but I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't either, knowing my luck."

[ It is what it is... ]

[ help ]

... I suppose there's no way to know until it happens.

But nonetheless it'd be a bit less traumatizing for everyone who loves you if we could have something a bit simpler...

"This is why I'm trusting you with the knowledge."

[ aka don't go telling anyone

He wants to control this information because y'all are so kind to him but he feels like he has no other choice. ]

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