selfconcept | purgastory >> inbox

[ It's his turn for silence. ]

… I mentioned her in passing, right? My Captain? She has similar abilities, except she can implant suggestions, too. It gives her a lot of trouble when people want her to sell them on happiness that doesn't exist. The same goes for erasing memories they think might make them happier. Things don't work that way.

[ His tone carries a mix of apology and frustration, blurred together in a way that betrays his exhaustion. ]

I don't know how much it means for me to owe you one, but it feels like what I lost was really important to me. [ … ] I wonder if it's the same for the others, and if it'll be a trend going forward.

"You're right. It doesn't always work that way. Maybe if I was more academically inclined, I would say that it's based on statistical observation."

[ His voice is soft despite the distortion and static. Great memories to think back on! It's emotion share. Hien is glad that Elysium doesn't have to feel something absolutely rancid from him, even if for a short moment. ]

"... If that's the case, I can try looking into it for you, whether you really have a hole in your memories or not. If they're merely suppressed, I can bring them back to the conscious part of your mind. If they're just outright gone, I can't get them back if I don't know who stole them and even then, it's not guaranteed."

… Yeah? I don't know about busting you out of hell, but I'm pretty good at keeping people company in prison. [ When he says prison, he just means Kal'tsit's baby jail, which may or may not be worse…. ] I can make that time feel like it's no time at all.

[ HELP HER BABY JAIL................. There's no visual in this, but maybe Elysium can hear a little smile out of that. ]

"I'd like that. You're a pretty fun person to talk to, after all."

[ He has no general vulnerability issues, so admitting this is easy for him. ]

"Let me know where you are. We can start the diagnostic right away. I don't mind doing it as long as it's not deletion."

[ Is this what it's like being around people who can actually be honest with their feelings. Wow. There is the slightest pause at that, before he similarly sounds a little less burdened than he was when opening up their conversation. Unfortunately! Unless you're a younger kid, what is paying people compliments unless they're hidden under various layers of teasing…

Truly a good thing they aren't currently face-to-face. ]

If I end up with more holes than I started with, I'm leaving a one-star review. See if anyone comes at you for deletion then.

[ huffs. ]

Kidding. You've had plenty of chances and you're already doing me something huge. Have you had a chance to check out the river? I'm by there.

[ Sincerity is all Hien has to give, despite how it sounds like he's flirting sometimes. He doesn't see the point in lying right now—he doesn't have enough pride for it to be a sin in any definition, but humility isn't his virtue. ]

"By the river, huh? I'll be right there—wouldn't want to miss a ticket to paradise."

[ He thinks the location is funny. They say that Elysium, the afterlife in which gods, heroes, and other select few can enter—is past River Styx where they live happily ever after.

Anyway, it doesn't take long for Hien to actually appear there. And since Hien hasn't hung up on the compact properly, he is cursed. Which one? Elysium will find out soon. ]

[ the way you worded this is so ominous

But the reference isn't lost, and so it draws a laugh out of him all the same. ]

Paradise is always open for the right people, my friend. See you soon, and don't forget it.

[ And so he waits by the river, idly flipping a coin. Even though the conversation had ended more lightheartedly than it began, he still looks contemplative, mind elsewhere entirely. ]

"I'm here, nya."

[ He gives Elysium a small wave. One day, I'll go with a worse curse, because this thread deserves better. ]

"Just make yourself comfortable anywhere and let me know when you're ready, nya."

[ By the river? His distorted voice with static really makes this whole experience so surreal. Nya. ]

Is this how we're communicating with each other now, nya?

[ Repeats but also includes a little paw gesture with his hand. When in Rome, do as the Romans… but at the reminder of what they're here for, his shoulders tense——then untense.

He decides to just relax where he is. ]

… Sure. Anytime you're ready.

[ His memory is probably full of obscufated figures… like someone's taken film and thrown ink blots all over it. The way I'm just here for my CR opportunity, sniffles. This thread deserves nothing but us living our best lives. ]

[ Hien returns the paw gesture before reaching out and pulling out the ethereal film reel from Elysium's head. He sees the obfuscated figures. They're everywhere. Hien squints at the film reel and then looks at Elysium with a more default expression. ]

"... You wanna explain this, nya?"

[ He is genuinely surprised. ]

"It'll help me sort through these better if I know why it's like this, nya."

If I knew how to explain it pawperly, I wouldn't have sought you out.

[ Meanwhile, his gaze lingers on the dark water in front of them, a murky mirror that offers no reflection back. This was comforting to him? Really? ]

But there's a reason why I chose this place in particular. I was in a pretty rough shape when you guys found me, right? I don't remember much from that stretch of time, but the river did patch me up right after.

"Right, nya. I wouldn't be surprised if that was the case, but it's all over your reel instead of a specific place, nya."

[ Should he say it's a little alarming? No. Keep the patient calm. Hien finally starts looking through the film for any abnormalities. ]

"Here it is, nya."

[ Hien gestures to the loosely stitched film. I don't know what you made Elysium forget, but the disappeared memory is basically "gone" with the before and after that memory got stitched together as if it's attempting to make it flow smoothly. It's definitely not smooth. ]

[ Does Hien really think he'd be that patient? Sometimes you get so used to being handed the worst news that you can smile through just about anything.

Well. It is emotionshare week so his emotions are essentially as so: 📈📉📈📉📉. They might be in freefall after his two attempts at playing it cool, but his expression stays chipper! And surely that's what counts. ]

Wow. You'd think I'd be less functional after damage like this. Honestly? Isn't it kind of impressive they'd only manage to make it feel slightly off? Scary!

[ the vibe is murderous ]

[ Compared to that, Hien just has Concern despite his mostly neutral expression. ]

"It just proves that you're strong and enduring."

[ ... ]

"Wanna let it out with a sparring session?"

[ He is not the sort to use sparring as a coping mechanism.

But.

But! If there ever were a moment for it, it would be this one. ]

You're not planning to use a gun in a close-range duel, right?

[ In the span of two seconds, two things: he rises to a stand and unsheathes his sword with theatrical flourish, letting it spin once in the air before catching and pointing it squarely at Hien. ]

[ Let him rewind all that film back inside Elysium's head first. Also, he would totally be the kind of the guy to use a gun in a close-range duel, but he'll be fair to him even though Hien isn't really a typical sword guy.

So he gets out a rapier. It looks very standard and normal, but there's something weird about it, like how it seems heavier than it looks though Hien has no problem wielding it. Aren't rapiers supposed to be light? That's their thing. ]

"Fancy. I'll make an exception for you just this time."

[ Just a bit of teasing. It's fine.

Then he promptly dashes in for a good stab on the shoulder. ]

[ What is the sensation supposed to feel like, anyway… Still does the thing where he knocks it back in anyway, despite the apparent futility of it. Ugh. ]

Thaaaat's a whole lot of heft. [ Judging by the sound as it slices through the air. ] What, did you condense a broadsword into a rapier just for style? Form over function? Can't say I don't understand. I respect it, even.

[ Anyway. He's a Vanguard. He has one block to his name. Parrying? Not happening. Knocking Hien's sword away? Also not happening. I rolled an 18, so he's going to successfully dodge for now! Immediately following up into a shallow cut along Hien's torso. ]

[ No sensation, but you can totally let Elysium imagine it as a "it's all in your head" sort of thing. ]

"Nah, it's definitely a function thing--"

[ Meanwhile, Hien absolutely fails to dodge it by rolling a 2. Almost a critical failure. Imagine if he accidentally stabbed himself further, but no. Shallow cut get. He doesn't even flinch even though he really doesn't like pain.

He follows the trajectory of the sword and smacks the rapier blade against it. There's quite a bit of strength behind the heavy-feeling rapier. How well does Elysium have a grip on his sword? ]

[ He blinks at the contact, somehow genuinely surprised the strike cut. And with my 2 this time, Hien sends Elysium's sword flying with ease. He spares it a single glance. Goodbye.

Elysium hops back, palms lifted in immediate surrender. ]

Woah, woah, woah. You alright, man? That wasn't meant to actually land.

"It's fine--I regenerate, nya."

[ ok

He doesn't regenerate. Obviously. Elysium's sword though!!! AAAAAAAA

Well, since Elysium is surrendering, Hien immediately puts the rapier back inside the cloak. His hand still feels the vibration of the meeting strikes. Sheesh. ]

"... I mean, it's not bad, nya. It'll heal normally, nya."

[ He pulls out a first aid kit. ]

Edited (I FORGOT MY NYAS) 2025-12-05 14:07 (UTC)

[ the mental imagery of you just sitting up like MY NYAS ]

Just because you regenerate, it doesn't mean you don't feel it.

[ HE CAN LOOK FOR HIS SWORD LATER!!!!! More importantly, he's approaching to swipe the kit out of Hien's hands. Since he'd only meant for a shallow cut, it shouldn't be too bad…? Probably? Still, he'll lean in to inspect it more closely. ]

I've always thought you were a little off, but what's with the nyas?

[ Respectfully, the bit has overstayed the usual runtime for them, sir. ]

[ this actually happened in the car yesterday after work and this morning so I remembered twice

Hien lets Elysium take the kit. Yes, Elysium probably has very good control over his sword, but sometimes the target happens to lean in more than usual at the last minute because that 2 was really bad. So the cut is probably a little deeper at the starting point, but gets shallower as the cut goes on. I'm going to assume Elysium tried to mitigate the slash, also last minute. If not, feel free to correct me!!

So he's bleeding a bit, but it's fine. Does he need to take his shirt off? He takes the cloak off at least, since it's not affected by the damage. Under it is just a black shirt for the top, damaged from the cut. He is bleeding. ]

"It feels like it gets tacked on automatically, nya."

[ He definitely would've tried to mitigate it… but look how it turned out anyway. A faint, self-directed annoyance radiates off him as he flips open the medkit to assess the damage. He'll do more than just dress it, naturally, already reaching for antiseptic. One can never be too careful.

tmw this isn't the first time i've had to consider sepsis in purgatory ]

Uh huh… So you just felt like doing it. [ a beat, eyes flicking back to the wound. ] I'm going to lift your shirt.

[ elysium's going to wait for implicit or explicit approval, whichever comes first, before going ahead. unless hien insists on stripping his entire shirt for some reason, that's fine, too. ]

[ HELP not the sepsis

Hien just nods. Elysium can do whatever he wants and Hien won't be embarrassed because he thinks he knows his intent. ]

[ patches him up… ]

Times like this makes me think about how inconvenient it is not to have a medic around. [ He sighs. ] At least it shouldn't scar.

[ gives the bandage a pat pat. ]

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