hien callias, world eater (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
selfconcept) wrote2025-11-13 07:51 pm
selfconcept) wrote2025-11-13 07:51 pm
purgastory >> inbox
HELLO
"..."
GOODBYE
TEXT | VIDEO | VOICE | ACTION
"..."
GOODBYE
TEXT | VIDEO | VOICE | ACTION
"Yeah, just like that. You're doing good."
[ Just a bit of encouragement in case Tokinaga feels nervous.
Hien doesn't need physical contact, but it could help ground them both, so he reaches out to put a hand over Tokinaga's forehead. Alright, boy. What are you unaware of about yourself? Anything that has to do with Tokinaga's identity, self everything, desires, etc will be looked for. Yippee. ]
[ Just a bit of encouragement in case Tokinaga feels nervous.
Hien doesn't need physical contact, but it could help ground them both, so he reaches out to put a hand over Tokinaga's forehead. Alright, boy. What are you unaware of about yourself? Anything that has to do with Tokinaga's identity, self everything, desires, etc will be looked for. Yippee. ]
[ He sounds a bit groggy, but it's fine. ]
"Shoot."
"Shoot."
[ Ah. Hien doesn't take his hand off the forehead for a moment, but it moves to gently pat his head instead. ]
"I'm the last sort of person to judge anybody. I'll want to understand, but I won't judge you."
"I'm the last sort of person to judge anybody. I'll want to understand, but I won't judge you."
"The kind of friend that's annoying so you'd be gruff about it, but when they're gone, you can feel the emptiness very clearly and miss them."
"Mm. I like fried chicken, but I'm picky with the moisture in the meat and how thick the breading is. I like my fried chicken a bit juicy, but not too much... and thin breading, but crispy. That said, I'll eat fried chicken however it's made, but that's my favorite kind."
[ A short pause as if he's thinking about something. ]
"I also really like lemon-herb baked salmon if that's easier for you to make."
[ He just assumes that, because why else would he ask him this. ]
[ A short pause as if he's thinking about something. ]
"I also really like lemon-herb baked salmon if that's easier for you to make."
[ He just assumes that, because why else would he ask him this. ]
[ dahut just going peekaboo ]
"That's not what he told me... and I doubt he was lying."
[ You take his exasperation and eat it. ]
"That's not what he told me... and I doubt he was lying."
[ You take his exasperation and eat it. ]
...
[ He hopes Hien is telling the truth.
He lets him in, then -- starting from the superficial layers of what they talked about. Hien sees flashes, images -- colours that reflect themselves on the gaudy hotel-room walls. A young Sachiyuki running through fall leaves with a dog almost the same size as him, whose image remains his profile picture on his social media to this day. The same boy in the back-seat of a car, sandwiched between two girls, voice at a pitch as he asks his mother in the passenger's seat to repeat the question while his father drives them to the park. Just barely older, sitting in the back of a classroom, hand on his cheek and peering curiously at all his classmates before him.
They grow up. Tanutanu isn't nearly the same size as him anymore, maybe around half. He meets his older sister's boyfriend, and he thinks that's a pretty nice fellow. All his classmates ever want to talk about is who's dating who, and they ask him his theories. He's a little confounded by the game, but he plays along, because it's just a question of who likes people better than others, right? His mother and father ask him too, if there's anybody he thinks is particularly cute. Maybe he should start thinking about this.
Tanutanu doesn't run as much as he used to, but it's okay when he can rest his head on Sachiyuki's lap. His older sister's wedding was yesterday, and he'd never felt so much joy in the air, it was electrifying. He doesn't think his sister's ever shined brighter, and he watched his mother cry tears of pride and joy. Love is a wonderful thing, isn't it? Maybe he should think about getting a girlfriend and about marriage too, if only so that he can also feel and share this joy with everyone around him.
Apparently, people physically feel something when they're in love. Not just that stirring of the heart, butterflies in their stomach -- but somewhere deeper below that, a heat of want and desire, to love through the body. He'd realised that he didn't quite understand that when he was young, but it wasn't a big deal. And then, much later, he realised it wasn't just that he didn't get it, it was just that he didn't have it at all. He tried to imagine it but he couldn't picture it, that unique 'love' that everybody talked about that was different in some way from the way he loved his dog, loved his friends, loved his family. Was that physical desire the only difference...?
The colour of the world distorts. The soft hues begin to dim and grey out like a cloudy day. Sachiyuki's grown up to Tokinaga, and he continues on with his life. He'd come to the realisation, at some point, that if he wanted that precious love and union that so many others around him had, then it couldn't come without sacrifice of either himself or the other person. It's a horribly sad thought, he thinks, a distancing and lonely feeling the longer he lingers on it so he tries not to. He tries not to...
Does Hien want to delve deeper? ]
[ He hopes Hien is telling the truth.
He lets him in, then -- starting from the superficial layers of what they talked about. Hien sees flashes, images -- colours that reflect themselves on the gaudy hotel-room walls. A young Sachiyuki running through fall leaves with a dog almost the same size as him, whose image remains his profile picture on his social media to this day. The same boy in the back-seat of a car, sandwiched between two girls, voice at a pitch as he asks his mother in the passenger's seat to repeat the question while his father drives them to the park. Just barely older, sitting in the back of a classroom, hand on his cheek and peering curiously at all his classmates before him.
They grow up. Tanutanu isn't nearly the same size as him anymore, maybe around half. He meets his older sister's boyfriend, and he thinks that's a pretty nice fellow. All his classmates ever want to talk about is who's dating who, and they ask him his theories. He's a little confounded by the game, but he plays along, because it's just a question of who likes people better than others, right? His mother and father ask him too, if there's anybody he thinks is particularly cute. Maybe he should start thinking about this.
Tanutanu doesn't run as much as he used to, but it's okay when he can rest his head on Sachiyuki's lap. His older sister's wedding was yesterday, and he'd never felt so much joy in the air, it was electrifying. He doesn't think his sister's ever shined brighter, and he watched his mother cry tears of pride and joy. Love is a wonderful thing, isn't it? Maybe he should think about getting a girlfriend and about marriage too, if only so that he can also feel and share this joy with everyone around him.
Apparently, people physically feel something when they're in love. Not just that stirring of the heart, butterflies in their stomach -- but somewhere deeper below that, a heat of want and desire, to love through the body. He'd realised that he didn't quite understand that when he was young, but it wasn't a big deal. And then, much later, he realised it wasn't just that he didn't get it, it was just that he didn't have it at all. He tried to imagine it but he couldn't picture it, that unique 'love' that everybody talked about that was different in some way from the way he loved his dog, loved his friends, loved his family. Was that physical desire the only difference...?
The colour of the world distorts. The soft hues begin to dim and grey out like a cloudy day. Sachiyuki's grown up to Tokinaga, and he continues on with his life. He'd come to the realisation, at some point, that if he wanted that precious love and union that so many others around him had, then it couldn't come without sacrifice of either himself or the other person. It's a horribly sad thought, he thinks, a distancing and lonely feeling the longer he lingers on it so he tries not to. He tries not to...
Does Hien want to delve deeper? ]
[ grabs that grape and eats him ]
"Ask him yourself. I'm not gonna tell you."
[ He says this despite being fully aware that Tokinaga might not tell Obikawa. ]
"Ask him yourself. I'm not gonna tell you."
[ He says this despite being fully aware that Tokinaga might not tell Obikawa. ]
[ Hien processes what he sees, taking in all the information. This was what Tokinaga told him before, but it's nice to see it like this too, to reconfirm. Also, Tanutanu. Cute dog.
He delves deeper. ]
He delves deeper. ]
[slight choking noise of surprise.]
I—er—
[WAS HE THAT OBVIOUS???? okay maybe yes.]
I-I should warn you that I'm not a very good cook, or rather I've only just started learning, so nothing I make is acceptable yet. Still, I thought that I might as well practice with food that others like. So, thank you for this information.
I—er—
[WAS HE THAT OBVIOUS???? okay maybe yes.]
I-I should warn you that I'm not a very good cook, or rather I've only just started learning, so nothing I make is acceptable yet. Still, I thought that I might as well practice with food that others like. So, thank you for this information.
[as is deserved]
Fine, fineee, if you're gonna make things a pain for me.
[There is a very high chance he's just gonna fuckin forget about this in all of the chaos that follows. But also:] Feels like there's a door there now that wasn't there before.
[The adhd of looping back around to a conversation point from a million years ago.]
Fine, fineee, if you're gonna make things a pain for me.
[There is a very high chance he's just gonna fuckin forget about this in all of the chaos that follows. But also:] Feels like there's a door there now that wasn't there before.
[The adhd of looping back around to a conversation point from a million years ago.]
[ He finds himself smiling a little. Lucien, you are so endearing. ]
"I'd still eat it regardless. I like food that's meant to be cooked for someone or a small group specifically, regardless of cooking skill. It means a lot to me that you would try in the first place... so, thanks."
[ And he's very sincere about that. Gluttony (positive). ]
"I'd still eat it regardless. I like food that's meant to be cooked for someone or a small group specifically, regardless of cooking skill. It means a lot to me that you would try in the first place... so, thanks."
[ And he's very sincere about that. Gluttony (positive). ]
"What door?"
[ The conversation point that Hien fuckin forgot. He can't even use Memory's powers as a memory aide because THEY'RE GONE. ]
[ The conversation point that Hien fuckin forgot. He can't even use Memory's powers as a memory aide because THEY'RE GONE. ]
[ The scenery continues on, smearing gradients of desaturated colour on the walls. In another perspective, it looks like how light pierces through the waves of the sea, sinking deeper, deeper below. Hurtling past the mesopelagic, into somewhere underneath.
Colour is all gone, suddenly. Space and time distort so hopelessly, so meaninglessly. Everything feels so utterly fake. Like Tokinaga is sitting all alone, the sole audience of a theatre whose film reel keeps skipping, showing the same event -- complete and utter collapse. There's no way forward from here, and there's no strength to leave.
Except for one thing. In the screen, his attention is taken by one, singular thing. It's so damn beautiful. It's a distant dot in the horizon, and yet, focusing on it carries every sensation on the wind. It's every colour at once, every atom of existence and in-between. It's the scales of a morpho butterfly. It's the cell structure of the underside or a leaf. It's a cluster of crimson berries, one side lit so bright by the morning sun. It's a close-up on a cat's eye, every thread in the iris a whole entire galaxy in rainbow. It's pollen on every flower petal, still vines snaking with ethereal patterns that whisper so seductively.
It calls like a siren and offers to catch him (Tokinaga? Hien?) in its arms, clasp tight in talons and drag him further, further, into the cold abyss. His mind is melting into the lightless black, but he can't give a single care in the world, because it was the most beautiful thing in the universe.
Does Hien want to keep delving? ]
Colour is all gone, suddenly. Space and time distort so hopelessly, so meaninglessly. Everything feels so utterly fake. Like Tokinaga is sitting all alone, the sole audience of a theatre whose film reel keeps skipping, showing the same event -- complete and utter collapse. There's no way forward from here, and there's no strength to leave.
Except for one thing. In the screen, his attention is taken by one, singular thing. It's so damn beautiful. It's a distant dot in the horizon, and yet, focusing on it carries every sensation on the wind. It's every colour at once, every atom of existence and in-between. It's the scales of a morpho butterfly. It's the cell structure of the underside or a leaf. It's a cluster of crimson berries, one side lit so bright by the morning sun. It's a close-up on a cat's eye, every thread in the iris a whole entire galaxy in rainbow. It's pollen on every flower petal, still vines snaking with ethereal patterns that whisper so seductively.
It calls like a siren and offers to catch him (Tokinaga? Hien?) in its arms, clasp tight in talons and drag him further, further, into the cold abyss. His mind is melting into the lightless black, but he can't give a single care in the world, because it was the most beautiful thing in the universe.
Does Hien want to keep delving? ]
[wonders if hien would still be thanking him if he knew lucien's cooking skills are still at the level of possibly caused a fire.]
No need for thanks—this helps me as well to give me a direction to focus on. Of course, I won't present you with anything less than acceptable.
No need for thanks—this helps me as well to give me a direction to focus on. Of course, I won't present you with anything less than acceptable.
[ Hien was sort of expecting depression, but man. This is pretty bad. He understands viewing the world in such dull colors though--he's experienced it himself at some point. Depersonalization, he wonders.
The object that catches Tokinaga's eye is fascinating, especially from Tokinaga's point of view with all those sensations that are so vivid, but then. What... happens here? It feels like Tokinaga was lured and caught inside a trap. Hm.
He keeps delving. ]
The object that catches Tokinaga's eye is fascinating, especially from Tokinaga's point of view with all those sensations that are so vivid, but then. What... happens here? It feels like Tokinaga was lured and caught inside a trap. Hm.
He keeps delving. ]
[ He would............ he would eat burnt charcoal mess of a food even if all his powers were locked. ]
"Other than for sentimental reasons earlier, I don't like wasting food. I won't expect you to do the same, but I know that you'll do your best regardless."
[ Hien wonders what he did to deserve all these kind people here... ]
"Other than for sentimental reasons earlier, I don't like wasting food. I won't expect you to do the same, but I know that you'll do your best regardless."
[ Hien wonders what he did to deserve all these kind people here... ]
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